Friend: Saw a beautiful baby tortoise today, about the size of a quarter (about 2.5 cm? across).
Friend of friend: where? did you leave it there? some mean crow might eat it!
Friend: I left it there. Wasn't at all sure I'd be able to break the glass that separated us in the zoo's Tropical House.
Brian Leekley: Mean crows and people eat turtles. Some mean turtles eat bugs and worms. Mean bugs and worms eat people, turtles, and crows. Conclusion: a) the mean get to eat; b) meanness is relative to which side of the mouth you're on; c) what goes around comes around; d) it's all good; e) if you deprive a crow of a baby turtle meal, give it some roadkill to compensate; f) vegan is best.
Friend of friend: not entirely sure how Brian got to (f) but I'm glad the tortoise was safe (if we can call being behind glass in a cage safe)
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